| Geronimo Jones believed that he'd been abducted | | | | suddenly blasted Geronimo out of his reverie like |
| by aliens, but his delusions didn't end there. He | | | | a Buck Rogers laser beam. "Do you have Earthling |
| went so far as to call a California Health Insurance | | | | coverage?" |
| agent to see if he'd be charged for their "very | | | | The next morning, Geronimo Jones for the first |
| thorough" probes. | | | | time in a year didn't have a headache but was |
| Thirty-four year old Geronimo Jones, | | | | having a panic attack. "Are those aliens crazy? I |
| hypochondriac and confirmed cheapskate, was | | | | didn't ask to be admitted to their mother ship. |
| lying in bed painfully pondering. He'd been plagued | | | | Are they going to charge me for treatment?" |
| by headaches and this one was a "doozy." Tylenol | | | | Geronimo charged. Impulsively, he put in a frantic |
| hadn't helped. Geronimo's split-level ranch in | | | | call to his California Health Insurance agent. Ring. |
| Modesto recently had an alarm installed; he'd | | | | Ring. Pick up, pick up. "Yes," said the agent, a |
| gotten a deal. Drifting off to an anguished sleep, | | | | woman with a pleasant feline voice, akin to a |
| Geronimo possibly awakened; he wasn't sure, | | | | human purr. |
| instead of a clanging alarm he heard only silence, | | | | "This is Mr. Jones." |
| and was taken, by what appeared to be | | | | "Geronimo from Modesto?" |
| silver-throated aliens, at least several - one | | | | "Yes. It happened last night." |
| wearing a funny extraterrestrial baker's hat. Up to | | | | "What?" |
| the mother ship he possibly went, he wasn't sure | | | | "I was abducted by aliens." |
| exactly how, it didn't involve diesel. He lay on a | | | | "Again?" |
| metallic table unable to move anything but his | | | | "This time they want to charge me for the |
| pinkies, staring at what appeared to be a | | | | medical care. Can they do that?" |
| photograph of a cat; it probably had fur. | | | | The cat-like agent was quick on her feet. She |
| The probing began. One alien seemed to have a | | | | pounced. "Yes, if they call me, they actually can. |
| medical background, and was evidently very | | | | But they'll have to call me." |
| thorough. It felt very good; whatever he was | | | | Geronimo felt calm again. Thinking it over, he felt |
| doing. But a weird voice oozing out of an orifice | | | | like he'd made out like a bandit. More importantly, |
| that might have been the creature's mouth | | | | he didn't have a headache. |