| One of the nice things about being an author | | | | |
| is that we can break | | | | the distinction scrapped, but that's another |
| | | | story.)The dialogue portion of VIGILANTE |
| any rule we want. (I just did.) It's part of | | | | JUSTICE isn't difficult to |
| our job description. | | | | |
| | | | describe. The hero is a self-destructive cop |
| Language changes through usage -- | | | | named Gary Drake. He |
| definitions, spelling, grammar | | | | |
| | | | is based on a real-life cop, my little |
| -- and authors can help it do this. But on | | | | brother. So his dialogue |
| the other hand, we | | | | |
| | | | was easy because, in my mind, I always heard |
| have to have some sort of agreement on the | | | | Gary speaking in |
| language or we won't | | | | |
| | | | Barry's voice.For my other characters, I had |
| be able to talk to each other.When we as | | | | to find some other voices. For |
| authors break a rule or two, it's not because | | | | |
| we're | | | | example, the voice of Doctor Garrett Allison |
| | | | is, to me, that of |
| ignorant. It's because we have reasons to | | | | |
| break them. That's one | | | | Michael Jordan.That's right, people. When I |
| | | | write, I literally hear voices in my |
| of the joys of writing.Having said that, now | | | | |
| I'm going to explain some rules. There are | | | | head.As a beginning writer, and not a very |
| | | | good one, I read some advice |
| two types of writing in your novel. There is | | | | |
| your narrative and | | | | somewhere saying you might want to cut |
| | | | photos out of magazines and |
| there is your dialogue. The rules for the | | | | |
| two are not the same.For example, comma use. | | | | use them when writing your physical |
| In dialogue, it's not so difficult. Put | | | | description, in case you can't |
| | | | |
| in a comma wherever your speaker pauses in | | | | form a mental picture of your characters. |
| his/her speaking. In | | | | I've used this technique, |
| | | | |
| narrative, you have to consult the style | | | | and with some modification I've extended it |
| guides and hope that you | | | | to voices.As an author, you should always |
| | | | play to your greatest strengths |
| and your editor, working as a team, can sort | | | | |
| it all out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller like my | | | | while working to improve your weaknesses. I |
| VIGILANTE JUSTICE has a simple set of | | | | know many authors who |
| | | | |
| rules for the narrative portion. | | | | think visually, and I envy them that. I've |
| Third-person, straightforward | | | | read some stuff that |
| | | | |
| writing, light on adjectives and adverbs, | | | | can make you feel you're skiing down a |
| easy to read and | | | | snow-covered mountain when |
| | | | |
| grammatically correct. Sentence fragments | | | | it's actually 85 degrees in your flat and |
| are acceptable if | | | | you've never skied in |
| | | | |
| communication is achieved, and you'll note | | | | your life.One author told me that when he |
| that I use them often | | | | writes, he literally sees movies |
| | | | |
| in this article. Why? Simply because it's | | | | in his head, then just has to type them |
| more effective that | | | | really fast because |
| | | | |
| way.To a degree the genre will help you | | | | that's how they're playing. Lucky him! My |
| identify what's appropriate. | | | | novels first come to me |
| | | | |
| For a cop drama, write in the dry style of a | | | | in snippets of dialogue. Every character has |
| journalist. For | | | | the same voice at |
| | | | |
| horror, a bit of hyperbole may be acceptable | | | | that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight |
| in the most dramatic | | | | dialogue is one thing I enjoy when I read. |
| | | | Here are the |
| sections. For romance (not my genre), you | | | | |
| can probably use lots | | | | characters at some sort of verbal showdown. |
| | | | I know them, I know |
| more adjectives (swollen, heaving, | | | | |
| throbbing, etc.) than you'd | | | | their motives, I can read between the lines |
| | | | and know what's being |
| normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM THE | | | | |
| ASHES, the true story of Mom raising | | | | left unsaid. I can just feel the tension in |
| | | | the air. I'm not so |
| my brother and me alone, I tried to adopt a | | | | |
| "childlike voice" | | | | much mentally picturing bulging veins and |
| | | | angry glares as I am |
| early in the narrative. As the character of | | | | |
| Michael the | | | | just feeling the spoken words.I also have an |
| | | | excellent memory of voices. I always have. |
| storyteller grew older, I abandoned that | | | | Like a |
| childlike quality. (An | | | | |
| | | | dog remembers scents or an artist colors, it |
| entire book of that would get old fast | | | | seems, I can |
| anyway.)When I wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK IN | | | | |
| HONG KONG, the humorous | | | | remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar |
| | | | song on the radio but |
| sequel, I once again used first person | | | | |
| narrative. But the | | | | I've ever heard that singer before, I can |
| | | | tell you who it is. I |
| narrative of RISING is first person only in | | | | |
| that it uses "I" | | | | can tell you that the guy doing the voice of |
| | | | Gomez Addams in the |
| instead of "Michael." Michael is only a | | | | |
| camera. It still follows | | | | original Addams Family cartoon is now doing |
| | | | one of the voices in |
| all the rules of "conventional" narrative. | | | | |
| In REDNECK, I threw | | | | the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I can |
| | | | spot an actor like |
| most of the rules out the window.I used what | | | | |
| one author referred to my as "conversational" | | | | Andreas Katsulas no matter what species of |
| tone to | | | | rubberized alien he's |
| | | | |
| maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow | | | | playing, because I recognize his voice, |
| author felt like he wasn't | | | | although really that's no |
| | | | |
| so much reading my book as just listening to | | | | great challenge in his case.(For the record, |
| me tell some stories | | | | if you've read THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, |
| | | | |
| over a few beers. That's exactly what I | | | | Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas |
| wanted.When I wrote the sequel to REDNECK, | | | | Katsulas. Clyde Windham is |
| another bit of humor called | | | | |
| | | | Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl who |
| WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that | | | | sold me some horse |
| same narrative style, | | | | |
| | | | feed about 15 years ago.)But just "hearing" |
| which I'd spent three years perfecting in my | | | | the voices (if you're able) isn't enough. The |
| newsletter.In RISING, while I was the "first | | | | |
| person" character, I wasn't | | | | words themselves will be different depending |
| | | | on who's speaking |
| really the book's focus. In REDNECK and | | | | |
| RICE, I am. Center stage, | | | | them, even if they're relaying the same |
| | | | information.To get back to VIGILANTE JUSTICE, |
| in the spotlight. Using more of a "dialogue" | | | | Gary Drake doesn't use a lot of |
| style in what should | | | | |
| | | | words. He almost never describes his own |
| have been "narrative" allowed me to focus | | | | feelings, and if he does |
| the reader's attention | | | | |
| | | | he always feels guilty about it. He speaks |
| on the first person to a greater degree than | | | | with a Southern drawl. |
| simply describing him | | | | |
| | | | He tends to use a single swear word, and |
| ever could. You may love me or you may hate | | | | that word is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on the |
| me, but you'll know | | | | other hand, mentions feelings and uses |
| | | | |
| me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the case | | | | whichever swear word is the most accurate, |
| of RICE, you'll feel my | | | | except that she never |
| | | | |
| frequent confusion. I had to write that from | | | | says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use as |
| "my perspective" | | | | many contractions as |
| | | | |
| because it was often the only one I | | | | the rest of us do. These are things I kept |
| understood.If you want to see such a | | | | in mind as I wrote |
| technique used to maximum effect, I | | | | |
| | | | their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock? His |
| recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy | | | | speech sounds like written language, |
| McCourt. (I read it after | | | | |
| | | | very grammatical and correct, and that's |
| writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about an | | | | deliberate. He's a |
| actor who gets drunk | | | | |
| | | | scientist, he's logical, and for him |
| and does very bad things to himself and his | | | | language is a tool to be used |
| family, and it's | | | | |
| | | | with as much precision as possible. That |
| amazing just how much I laughed out loud | | | | isn't just a different |
| reading it. Doesn't | | | | |
| | | | style of dialogue; it helps define his |
| sound like a funny subject, does it? It's | | | | character.In THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, |
| not, and yet it is, | | | | Ahriman used fewer contractions |
| | | | |
| thanks to his unconventional narrative | | | | than the rest of us and he avoided sentence |
| style.To tell you the truth, I don't even | | | | fragments. He |
| think McCourt "wrote" that | | | | |
| | | | probably even knew the difference between |
| book. I think he just said it all into a | | | | who and whom or lie and |
| tape recorder and | | | | |
| | | | lay. That's because he's intelligent, you |
| transcribed it later. It reads that much | | | | see. It kinds of goes |
| like "a guy at the pub | | | | |
| | | | with the territory when one is evil |
| telling a tale." If he used the grammar | | | | incarnate.During an edit I did of a sci-fi |
| checking function in | | | | book, I saw that the author wasn't |
| | | | |
| MSWord, I bet it underlined every sentence. | | | | using contractions in dialogue. I made many |
| And, bright fellow | | | | suggestions that he |
| | | | |
| that he is, he ignored them all and didn't | | | | change the dialogue of the humans to use |
| change a word.If you're going to use a more | | | | those contractions, |
| conversational tone in your | | | | |
| | | | except when military officers were giving |
| narrative, don't think that means you just | | | | orders, because |
| write something down | | | | |
| | | | order-giving officers tend to be more |
| and don't have to edit it. You still have to | | | | "serious" and "thoughtful" |
| organize your | | | | |
| | | | than folks just being regular folks.I also |
| thoughts, and that means rewriting. While | | | | suggested to this author that he change |
| your style may be | | | | nothing about the |
| | | | |
| unconventional, you have to make the ideas | | | | "stilted" speech patterns of his aliens. |
| easy for the reader to | | | | English isn't their |
| | | | |
| follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I say | | | | native language, you see, and one thing I've |
| McCourt just spoke into a | | | | noticed from living |
| | | | |
| tape recorder, and even if he did that | | | | in China is that the locals don't use nearly |
| doesn't mean the rest of | | | | as many contractions |
| | | | |
| us can get away with it.)In the case of | | | | as I do. So I thought that added realism. |
| narrative, you have the choice. If you want | | | | Plus, the contrast |
| to | | | | |
| | | | should help the readers keep everybody |
| spotlight the storyteller to maximum effect, | | | | straight even if they aren't |
| you can go with | | | | |
| | | | consciously aware of why.I remember in one |
| first person and let the storyteller's | | | | edit where I read some character saying, "I |
| narrative and his dialogue | | | | am |
| | | | |
| read the same. If you'd prefer to "move the | | | | an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I |
| camera" back a bit, | | | | hate anyone ever putting |
| | | | |
| make the narrative conventional in contrast | | | | "an" in front of a word that begins with the |
| to the dialogue. As a | | | | consonant "h." It's |
| | | | |
| rule, this reader likes contrast, because he | | | | terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As I |
| gets bored reading | | | | kept reading the |
| | | | |
| the same thing over and over again unless | | | | book, I quickly learned that the character |
| the style is really | | | | in question is |
| | | | |
| special. Or perhaps you can find a point | | | | terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the |
| somewhere in between.Every story has a way | | | | book was throwing "an" |
| that it should be told for maximum effect. | | | | |
| | | | in front of "h" words. It was a deliberate |
| Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of | | | | contrast on the |
| course, as it's a | | | | |
| | | | author's part, and it worked quite |
| subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you | | | | nicely.CONCLUSIONI suppose the point of all |
| write. Make the call, | | | | this is, remember the difference |
| | | | |
| stick to it, change it if it's not working. | | | | between narrative and dialogue.In the case |
| It might even be okay | | | | of narrative, you're simply trying to |
| | | | describe what |
| to be inconsistent, but only if you do so | | | | |
| deliberately. Just keep | | | | happens. There is a famous quote of some |
| | | | sort that says, "Great |
| stuff like "ease of reading" and "maximum | | | | |
| effect" in mind and be | | | | writing is like a window pane." Stick to |
| | | | that maxim unless you |
| creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a book | | | | |
| where the dialogue reads like narrative? | | | | feel you have a good reason not to. If |
| | | | you've got what it takes |
| I hope you haven't. But as an editor I've | | | | |
| seen such things, and | | | | to make your writing style superior to the |
| | | | conventional, and if |
| they're very ugly.Do you know why they're so | | | | |
| ugly? Because they remind the reader | | | | your story allows it, let that style be an |
| | | | asset of your writing. |
| of the one thing an author does not want to | | | | |
| remind the reader of. | | | | Otherwise, just stick to the rules until you |
| | | | master them.In the case of dialogue, you're |
| Namely, that every character on the page is | | | | trying to write something that |
| a puppet under the | | | | |
| | | | sounds like what the characters would |
| author's control.As readers, we put that | | | | actually say, but a bit |
| thought aside so we can enjoy reading. | | | | |
| | | | more organized because "real" speech can be |
| "Willing suspension of disbelief," to quote | | | | boring. Give every |
| the phrase an English | | | | |
| | | | character his/her/its own voice.Am I joking |
| teacher used when describing the performance | | | | when I say "its?" Not entirely. THE |
| of Shakespeare's | | | | CHRONICLES OF A |
| | | | |
| plays. If the author ensures that the reader | | | | MADMAN contains a short story, written in |
| can't suspend | | | | first person from my |
| | | | |
| disbelief, the book will not be read. | | | | dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would |
| Stilted dialogue is one of | | | | never call Daisy an |
| | | | |
| the quickest ways to make that happen.I've | | | | "it."There's a stylistic decision you can |
| decided that writing dialogue is the hardest | | | | make in narrative, by the |
| thing we do. | | | | |
| | | | way. I always refer to animals as "he" or |
| It's certainly not something we can go look | | | | "she." Some authors |
| up in a style manual | | | | |
| | | | always use "it."In dialogue, you can let |
| like Strunk or Turabian.What are the rules? | | | | some characters always say he or she, |
| "Make it sound real." But with the corollary, | | | | |
| | | | and let others always say it, to contrast |
| "not too real because people always say um | | | | the feeling with the |
| and er and crap like | | | | |
| | | | unfeeling. (My heroes never call an animal |
| that." Oh yeah. That explains everything! | | | | "it.")In the end, the goal is always the |
| End of my article, | | | | same. Make your writing as |
| | | | |
| right?Nope. I'm still writing it.Ideally, | | | | easy to read as you can. Keep that in mind, |
| the greatest of the great creators of | | | | and always keep |
| dialogue will have | | | | |
| | | | learning, and you won't go wrong.Copyright |
| every character "speaking" in a voice so | | | | 2005, Michael LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's |
| distinctive that he/she | | | | website at was |
| | | | |
| need never identify the speaker. Okay, | | | | chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101 |
| that's enough fiction. | | | | Best Websites |
| | | | |
| Back to reality. None of us are writing | | | | For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response |
| dialogue that well, are | | | | was to throw it |
| | | | |
| we?People use a lot more contractions in | | | | out and start over again because he's |
| speech than in writing. | | | | insane. He teaches |
| | | | |
| They're faster. More sentence fragments, | | | | English at a university in Hangzhou, |
| too. People very often | | | | Zhejiang Province, |
| | | | |
| use the wrong version of lie/lay or who/whom | | | | China, and publishes the free weekly |
| in speaking. (I | | | | newsletter WHO MOVED |
| | | | |
| never use "whom" in speaking or writing | | | | MY RICE? |
| because I want to see | | | | |