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Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

One of the nice things about being an author
is that we can break				the distinction scrapped, but that's another
				story.)The dialogue portion of VIGILANTE
any rule we want. (I just did.) It's part of				JUSTICE isn't difficult to
our job description.
				describe. The hero is a self-destructive cop
Language changes through usage --				named Gary Drake. He
definitions, spelling, grammar
				is based on a real-life cop, my little
-- and authors can help it do this. But on				brother. So his dialogue
the other hand, we
				was easy because, in my mind, I always heard
have to have some sort of agreement on the				Gary speaking in
language or we won't
				Barry's voice.For my other characters, I had
be able to talk to each other.When we as				to find some other voices. For
authors break a rule or two, it's not because
we're				example, the voice of Doctor Garrett Allison
				is, to me, that of
ignorant. It's because we have reasons to
break them. That's one				Michael Jordan.That's right, people. When I
				write, I literally hear voices in my
of the joys of writing.Having said that, now
I'm going to explain some rules. There are				head.As a beginning writer, and not a very
				good one, I read some advice
two types of writing in your novel. There is
your narrative and				somewhere saying you might want to cut
				photos out of magazines and
there is your dialogue. The rules for the
two are not the same.For example, comma use.				use them when writing your physical
In dialogue, it's not so difficult. Put				description, in case you can't

in a comma wherever your speaker pauses in				form a mental picture of your characters.
his/her speaking. In				I've used this technique,

narrative, you have to consult the style				and with some modification I've extended it
guides and hope that you				to voices.As an author, you should always
				play to your greatest strengths
and your editor, working as a team, can sort
it all out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller like my				while working to improve your weaknesses. I
VIGILANTE JUSTICE has a simple set of				know many authors who

rules for the narrative portion.				think visually, and I envy them that. I've
Third-person, straightforward				read some stuff that

writing, light on adjectives and adverbs,				can make you feel you're skiing down a
easy to read and				snow-covered mountain when

grammatically correct. Sentence fragments				it's actually 85 degrees in your flat and
are acceptable if				you've never skied in

communication is achieved, and you'll note				your life.One author told me that when he
that I use them often				writes, he literally sees movies

in this article. Why? Simply because it's				in his head, then just has to type them
more effective that				really fast because

way.To a degree the genre will help you				that's how they're playing. Lucky him! My
identify what's appropriate.				novels first come to me

For a cop drama, write in the dry style of a				in snippets of dialogue. Every character has
journalist. For				the same voice at

horror, a bit of hyperbole may be acceptable				that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight
in the most dramatic				dialogue is one thing I enjoy when I read.
				Here are the
sections. For romance (not my genre), you
can probably use lots				characters at some sort of verbal showdown.
				I know them, I know
more adjectives (swollen, heaving,
throbbing, etc.) than you'd				their motives, I can read between the lines
				and know what's being
normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM THE
ASHES, the true story of Mom raising				left unsaid. I can just feel the tension in
				the air. I'm not so
my brother and me alone, I tried to adopt a
"childlike voice"				much mentally picturing bulging veins and
				angry glares as I am
early in the narrative. As the character of
Michael the				just feeling the spoken words.I also have an
				excellent memory of voices. I always have.
storyteller grew older, I abandoned that				Like a
childlike quality. (An
				dog remembers scents or an artist colors, it
entire book of that would get old fast				seems, I can
anyway.)When I wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK IN
HONG KONG, the humorous				remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar
				song on the radio but
sequel, I once again used first person
narrative. But the				I've ever heard that singer before, I can
				tell you who it is. I
narrative of RISING is first person only in
that it uses "I"				can tell you that the guy doing the voice of
				Gomez Addams in the
instead of "Michael." Michael is only a
camera. It still follows				original Addams Family cartoon is now doing
				one of the voices in
all the rules of "conventional" narrative.
In REDNECK, I threw				the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I can
				spot an actor like
most of the rules out the window.I used what
one author referred to my as "conversational"				Andreas Katsulas no matter what species of
tone to				rubberized alien he's

maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow				playing, because I recognize his voice,
author felt like he wasn't				although really that's no

so much reading my book as just listening to				great challenge in his case.(For the record,
me tell some stories				if you've read THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN,

over a few beers. That's exactly what I				Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas
wanted.When I wrote the sequel to REDNECK,				Katsulas. Clyde Windham is
another bit of humor called
				Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl who
WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that				sold me some horse
same narrative style,
				feed about 15 years ago.)But just "hearing"
which I'd spent three years perfecting in my				the voices (if you're able) isn't enough. The
newsletter.In RISING, while I was the "first
person" character, I wasn't				words themselves will be different depending
				on who's speaking
really the book's focus. In REDNECK and
RICE, I am. Center stage,				them, even if they're relaying the same
				information.To get back to VIGILANTE JUSTICE,
in the spotlight. Using more of a "dialogue"				Gary Drake doesn't use a lot of
style in what should
				words. He almost never describes his own
have been "narrative" allowed me to focus				feelings, and if he does
the reader's attention
				he always feels guilty about it. He speaks
on the first person to a greater degree than				with a Southern drawl.
simply describing him
				He tends to use a single swear word, and
ever could. You may love me or you may hate				that word is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on the
me, but you'll know				other hand, mentions feelings and uses

me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the case				whichever swear word is the most accurate,
of RICE, you'll feel my				except that she never

frequent confusion. I had to write that from				says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use as
"my perspective"				many contractions as

because it was often the only one I				the rest of us do. These are things I kept
understood.If you want to see such a				in mind as I wrote
technique used to maximum effect, I
				their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock? His
recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy				speech sounds like written language,
McCourt. (I read it after
				very grammatical and correct, and that's
writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about an				deliberate. He's a
actor who gets drunk
				scientist, he's logical, and for him
and does very bad things to himself and his				language is a tool to be used
family, and it's
				with as much precision as possible. That
amazing just how much I laughed out loud				isn't just a different
reading it. Doesn't
				style of dialogue; it helps define his
sound like a funny subject, does it? It's				character.In THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN,
not, and yet it is,				Ahriman used fewer contractions

thanks to his unconventional narrative				than the rest of us and he avoided sentence
style.To tell you the truth, I don't even				fragments. He
think McCourt "wrote" that
				probably even knew the difference between
book. I think he just said it all into a				who and whom or lie and
tape recorder and
				lay. That's because he's intelligent, you
transcribed it later. It reads that much				see. It kinds of goes
like "a guy at the pub
				with the territory when one is evil
telling a tale." If he used the grammar				incarnate.During an edit I did of a sci-fi
checking function in				book, I saw that the author wasn't

MSWord, I bet it underlined every sentence.				using contractions in dialogue. I made many
And, bright fellow				suggestions that he

that he is, he ignored them all and didn't				change the dialogue of the humans to use
change a word.If you're going to use a more				those contractions,
conversational tone in your
				except when military officers were giving
narrative, don't think that means you just				orders, because
write something down
				order-giving officers tend to be more
and don't have to edit it. You still have to				"serious" and "thoughtful"
organize your
				than folks just being regular folks.I also
thoughts, and that means rewriting. While				suggested to this author that he change
your style may be				nothing about the

unconventional, you have to make the ideas				"stilted" speech patterns of his aliens.
easy for the reader to				English isn't their

follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I say				native language, you see, and one thing I've
McCourt just spoke into a				noticed from living

tape recorder, and even if he did that				in China is that the locals don't use nearly
doesn't mean the rest of				as many contractions

us can get away with it.)In the case of				as I do. So I thought that added realism.
narrative, you have the choice. If you want				Plus, the contrast
to
				should help the readers keep everybody
spotlight the storyteller to maximum effect,				straight even if they aren't
you can go with
				consciously aware of why.I remember in one
first person and let the storyteller's				edit where I read some character saying, "I
narrative and his dialogue				am

read the same. If you'd prefer to "move the				an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I
camera" back a bit,				hate anyone ever putting

make the narrative conventional in contrast				"an" in front of a word that begins with the
to the dialogue. As a				consonant "h." It's

rule, this reader likes contrast, because he				terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As I
gets bored reading				kept reading the

the same thing over and over again unless				book, I quickly learned that the character
the style is really				in question is

special. Or perhaps you can find a point				terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the
somewhere in between.Every story has a way				book was throwing "an"
that it should be told for maximum effect.
				in front of "h" words. It was a deliberate
Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of				contrast on the
course, as it's a
				author's part, and it worked quite
subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you				nicely.CONCLUSIONI suppose the point of all
write. Make the call,				this is, remember the difference

stick to it, change it if it's not working.				between narrative and dialogue.In the case
It might even be okay				of narrative, you're simply trying to
				describe what
to be inconsistent, but only if you do so
deliberately. Just keep				happens. There is a famous quote of some
				sort that says, "Great
stuff like "ease of reading" and "maximum
effect" in mind and be				writing is like a window pane." Stick to
				that maxim unless you
creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a book
where the dialogue reads like narrative?				feel you have a good reason not to. If
				you've got what it takes
I hope you haven't. But as an editor I've
seen such things, and				to make your writing style superior to the
				conventional, and if
they're very ugly.Do you know why they're so
ugly? Because they remind the reader				your story allows it, let that style be an
				asset of your writing.
of the one thing an author does not want to
remind the reader of.				Otherwise, just stick to the rules until you
				master them.In the case of dialogue, you're
Namely, that every character on the page is				trying to write something that
a puppet under the
				sounds like what the characters would
author's control.As readers, we put that				actually say, but a bit
thought aside so we can enjoy reading.
				more organized because "real" speech can be
"Willing suspension of disbelief," to quote				boring. Give every
the phrase an English
				character his/her/its own voice.Am I joking
teacher used when describing the performance				when I say "its?" Not entirely. THE
of Shakespeare's				CHRONICLES OF A

plays. If the author ensures that the reader				MADMAN contains a short story, written in
can't suspend				first person from my

disbelief, the book will not be read.				dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would
Stilted dialogue is one of				never call Daisy an

the quickest ways to make that happen.I've				"it."There's a stylistic decision you can
decided that writing dialogue is the hardest				make in narrative, by the
thing we do.
				way. I always refer to animals as "he" or
It's certainly not something we can go look				"she." Some authors
up in a style manual
				always use "it."In dialogue, you can let
like Strunk or Turabian.What are the rules?				some characters always say he or she,
"Make it sound real." But with the corollary,
				and let others always say it, to contrast
"not too real because people always say um				the feeling with the
and er and crap like
				unfeeling. (My heroes never call an animal
that." Oh yeah. That explains everything!				"it.")In the end, the goal is always the
End of my article,				same. Make your writing as

right?Nope. I'm still writing it.Ideally,				easy to read as you can. Keep that in mind,
the greatest of the great creators of				and always keep
dialogue will have
				learning, and you won't go wrong.Copyright
every character "speaking" in a voice so				2005, Michael LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's
distinctive that he/she				website at was

need never identify the speaker. Okay,				chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101
that's enough fiction.				Best Websites

Back to reality. None of us are writing				For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response
dialogue that well, are				was to throw it

we?People use a lot more contractions in				out and start over again because he's
speech than in writing.				insane. He teaches

They're faster. More sentence fragments,				English at a university in Hangzhou,
too. People very often				Zhejiang Province,

use the wrong version of lie/lay or who/whom				China, and publishes the free weekly
in speaking. (I				newsletter WHO MOVED

never use "whom" in speaking or writing				MY RICE?
because I want to see

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Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

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