Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

One of the nice things about being an author is				never use "whom" in speaking or writing because
that we can break				I want to see
any rule we want. (I just did.) It's part of our job				the distinction scrapped, but that's another
description.				story.)The dialogue portion of VIGILANTE
Language changes through usage -- definitions,				JUSTICE isn't difficult to
spelling, grammar				describe. The hero is a self-destructive cop
-- and authors can help it do this. But on the				named Gary Drake. He
other hand, we				is based on a real-life cop, my little brother. So
have to have some sort of agreement on the				his dialogue
language or we won't				was easy because, in my mind, I always heard
be able to talk to each other.When we as				Gary speaking in
authors break a rule or two, it's not because				Barry's voice.For my other characters, I had to
we're				find some other voices. For
ignorant. It's because we have reasons to break				example, the voice of Doctor Garrett Allison is,
them. That's one				to me, that of
of the joys of writing.Having said that, now I'm				Michael Jordan.That's right, people. When I write, I
going to explain some rules. There are				literally hear voices in my
two types of writing in your novel. There is your				head.As a beginning writer, and not a very good
narrative and				one, I read some advice
there is your dialogue. The rules for the two are				somewhere saying you might want to cut
not the same.For example, comma use. In				photos out of magazines and
dialogue, it's not so difficult. Put				use them when writing your physical description,
in a comma wherever your speaker pauses in his				in case you can't
her speaking. In				form a mental picture of your characters. I've
narrative, you have to consult the style guides				used this technique,
and hope that you				and with some modification I've extended it to
and your editor, working as a team, can sort it all				voices.As an author, you should always play to
out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller like my VIGILANTE				your greatest strengths
JUSTICE has a simple set of				while working to improve your weaknesses. I
rules for the narrative portion. Third-person,				know many authors who
straightforward				think visually, and I envy them that. I've read
writing, light on adjectives and adverbs, easy to				some stuff that
read and				can make you feel you're skiing down a
grammatically correct. Sentence fragments are				snow-covered mountain when
acceptable if				it's actually 85 degrees in your flat and you've
communication is achieved, and you'll note that I				never skied in
use them often				your life.One author told me that when he writes,
in this article. Why? Simply because it's more				he literally sees movies
effective that				in his head, then just has to type them really
way.To a degree the genre will help you identify				fast because
what's appropriate.				that's how they're playing. Lucky him! My novels
For a cop drama, write in the dry style of a				first come to me
journalist. For				in snippets of dialogue. Every character has the
horror, a bit of hyperbole may be acceptable in				same voice at
the most dramatic				that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight dialogue is
sections. For romance (not my genre), you can				one thing I enjoy when I read. Here are the
probably use lots				characters at some sort of verbal showdown. I
more adjectives (swollen, heaving, throbbing, etc.)				know them, I know
than you'd				their motives, I can read between the lines and
normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM THE				know what's being
ASHES, the true story of Mom raising				left unsaid. I can just feel the tension in the air.
my brother and me alone, I tried to adopt a				I'm not so
"childlike voice"				much mentally picturing bulging veins and angry
early in the narrative. As the character of Michael				glares as I am
the				just feeling the spoken words.I also have an
storyteller grew older, I abandoned that childlike				excellent memory of voices. I always have. Like a
quality. (An				dog remembers scents or an artist colors, it
entire book of that would get old fast				seems, I can
anyway.)When I wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK				remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar song on
IN HONG KONG, the humorous				the radio but
sequel, I once again used first person narrative.				I've ever heard that singer before, I can tell you
But the				who it is. I
narrative of RISING is first person only in that it				can tell you that the guy doing the voice of
uses "I"				Gomez Addams in the
instead of "Michael." Michael is only a camera. It				original Addams Family cartoon is now doing one
still follows				of the voices in
all the rules of "conventional" narrative. In				the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I can spot
REDNECK, I threw				an actor like
most of the rules out the window.I used what				Andreas Katsulas no matter what species of
one author referred to my as "conversational"				rubberized alien he's
tone to				playing, because I recognize his voice, although
maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow author				really that's no
felt like he wasn't				great challenge in his case.(For the record, if
so much reading my book as just listening to me				you've read THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN,
tell some stories				Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas Katsulas.
over a few beers. That's exactly what I				Clyde Windham is
wanted.When I wrote the sequel to REDNECK,				Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl who sold
another bit of humor called				me some horse
WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that				feed about 15 years ago.)But just "hearing" the
same narrative style,				voices (if you're able) isn't enough. The
which I'd spent three years perfecting in my				words themselves will be different depending on
newsletter.In RISING, while I was the "first				who's speaking
person" character, I wasn't				them, even if they're relaying the same
really the book's focus. In REDNECK and RICE, I				information.To get back to VIGILANTE JUSTICE,
am. Center stage,				Gary Drake doesn't use a lot of
in the spotlight. Using more of a "dialogue" style in				words. He almost never describes his own
what should				feelings, and if he does
have been "narrative" allowed me to focus the				he always feels guilty about it. He speaks with a
reader's attention				Southern drawl.
on the first person to a greater degree than				He tends to use a single swear word, and that
simply describing him				word is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on the other hand,
ever could. You may love me or you may hate				mentions feelings and uses
me, but you'll know				whichever swear word is the most accurate,
me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the case of				except that she never
RICE, you'll feel my				says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use as many
frequent confusion. I had to write that from "my				contractions as
perspective"				the rest of us do. These are things I kept in
because it was often the only one I				mind as I wrote
understood.If you want to see such a technique				their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock? His
used to maximum effect, I				speech sounds like written language,
recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy				very grammatical and correct, and that's
McCourt. (I read it after				deliberate. He's a
writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about an				scientist, he's logical, and for him language is a
actor who gets drunk				tool to be used
and does very bad things to himself and his				with as much precision as possible. That isn't just
family, and it's				a different
amazing just how much I laughed out loud				style of dialogue; it helps define his character.In
reading it. Doesn't				THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, Ahriman used
sound like a funny subject, does it? It's not, and				fewer contractions
yet it is,				than the rest of us and he avoided sentence
thanks to his unconventional narrative style.To tell				fragments. He
you the truth, I don't even think McCourt "wrote"				probably even knew the difference between
that				who and whom or lie and
book. I think he just said it all into a tape				lay. That's because he's intelligent, you see. It
recorder and				kinds of goes
transcribed it later. It reads that much like "a guy				with the territory when one is evil
at the pub				incarnate.During an edit I did of a sci-fi book, I
telling a tale." If he used the grammar checking				saw that the author wasn't
function in				using contractions in dialogue. I made many
MSWord, I bet it underlined every sentence. And,				suggestions that he
bright fellow				change the dialogue of the humans to use those
that he is, he ignored them all and didn't change a				contractions,
word.If you're going to use a more conversational				except when military officers were giving orders,
tone in your				because
narrative, don't think that means you just write				order-giving officers tend to be more "serious"
something down				and "thoughtful"
and don't have to edit it. You still have to				than folks just being regular folks.I also
organize your				suggested to this author that he change nothing
thoughts, and that means rewriting. While your				about the
style may be				"stilted" speech patterns of his aliens. English isn't
unconventional, you have to make the ideas				their
easy for the reader to				native language, you see, and one thing I've
follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I say				noticed from living
McCourt just spoke into a				in China is that the locals don't use nearly as
tape recorder, and even if he did that doesn't				many contractions
mean the rest of				as I do. So I thought that added realism. Plus, the
us can get away with it.)In the case of narrative,				contrast
you have the choice. If you want to				should help the readers keep everybody straight
spotlight the storyteller to maximum effect, you				even if they aren't
can go with				consciously aware of why.I remember in one edit
first person and let the storyteller's narrative and				where I read some character saying, "I am
his dialogue				an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I hate
read the same. If you'd prefer to "move the				anyone ever putting
camera" back a bit,				"an" in front of a word that begins with the
make the narrative conventional in contrast to				consonant "h." It's
the dialogue. As a				terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As I kept
rule, this reader likes contrast, because he gets				reading the
bored reading				book, I quickly learned that the character in
the same thing over and over again unless the				question is
style is really				terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the book was
special. Or perhaps you can find a point				throwing "an"
somewhere in between.Every story has a way				in front of "h" words. It was a deliberate contrast
that it should be told for maximum effect.				on the
Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of course,				author's part, and it worked quite
as it's a				nicely.CONCLUSIONI suppose the point of all this
subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you write.				is, remember the difference
Make the call,				between narrative and dialogue.In the case of
stick to it, change it if it's not working. It might				narrative, you're simply trying to describe what
even be okay				happens. There is a famous quote of some sort
to be inconsistent, but only if you do so				that says, "Great
deliberately. Just keep				writing is like a window pane." Stick to that
stuff like "ease of reading" and "maximum				maxim unless you
effect" in mind and be				feel you have a good reason not to. If you've
creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a book				got what it takes
where the dialogue reads like narrative?				to make your writing style superior to the
I hope you haven't. But as an editor I've seen				conventional, and if
such things, and				your story allows it, let that style be an asset of
they're very ugly.Do you know why they're so				your writing.
ugly? Because they remind the reader				Otherwise, just stick to the rules until you
of the one thing an author does not want to				master them.In the case of dialogue, you're trying
remind the reader of.				to write something that
Namely, that every character on the page is a				sounds like what the characters would actually
puppet under the				say, but a bit
author's control.As readers, we put that thought				more organized because "real" speech can be
aside so we can enjoy reading.				boring. Give every
"Willing suspension of disbelief," to quote the				character his/her/its own voice.Am I joking when
phrase an English				I say "its?" Not entirely. THE CHRONICLES OF A
teacher used when describing the performance				MADMAN contains a short story, written in first
of Shakespeare's				person from my
plays. If the author ensures that the reader can't				dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would never call
suspend				Daisy an
disbelief, the book will not be read. Stilted dialogue				"it."There's a stylistic decision you can make in
is one of				narrative, by the
the quickest ways to make that happen.I've				way. I always refer to animals as "he" or "she."
decided that writing dialogue is the hardest thing				Some authors
we do.				always use "it."In dialogue, you can let some
It's certainly not something we can go look up in				characters always say he or she,
a style manual				and let others always say it, to contrast the
like Strunk or Turabian.What are the rules? "Make				feeling with the
it sound real." But with the corollary,				unfeeling. (My heroes never call an animal "it.")In
"not too real because people always say um and				the end, the goal is always the same. Make your
er and crap like				writing as
that." Oh yeah. That explains everything! End of				easy to read as you can. Keep that in mind, and
my article,				always keep
right?Nope. I'm still writing it.Ideally, the greatest				learning, and you won't go wrong.Copyright 2005,
of the great creators of dialogue will have				Michael LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's website at was
every character "speaking" in a voice so				chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101
distinctive that he/she				Best Websites
need never identify the speaker. Okay, that's				For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response was
enough fiction.				to throw it
Back to reality. None of us are writing dialogue				out and start over again because he's insane. He
that well, are				teaches
we?People use a lot more contractions in speech				English at a university in Hangzhou, Zhejiang
than in writing.				Province,
They're faster. More sentence fragments, too.				China, and publishes the free weekly newsletter
People very often				WHO MOVED
use the wrong version of lie/lay or who/whom in				MY RICE?
speaking. (I

Left At East Gate

Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles