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The Last Martian Goes Home

The Martian stood in the open field and within a few minutes the increasingly
surrounded by the best government hostile emotions all around him set the
artillery pointed at his head and chest alarm off, creating a loud piercing
and back. shrill.
The infantry troops formed a circle A nervous gunman, his nerves taut,
around him. accidentally pulled the trigger.
Up above, fighter jets waited for the The other gunmen, confused, assuming that
word to launch a missile right into the an order had been given, began firing as
corn field if necessary. well.
Unaware of the hostile force that had The bullets passed through the green
greeted him, innocent of all thoughts of giant.
death and destruction, the handsome green "Clear the field," shouted the commander.
giant, using his intergalactic translator The soldiers raced to their vehicles.
device, said: Within minutes the entire field was
"My wonderful friends: deserted. And the first missile struck.
"We have noticed your suffering on this Then the second and the third. Within a
planet and I have been sent as an few minutes, a small crater had formed.
emissary to bring you good tidings. Watching all this on a giant television
"You're not here to suffer. screen, the pictures being taken by
"You don't have to be hungry. satellite, the president and all his men
"There is no need to cry. were astonished to see that the green
"I have come to bring you hope. giant and his shiny vehicle appeared to
"It's possible to wish for what you want. be unharmed.
"It's possible to move beyond merely "We'll have to go nuclear," was the last
trying. command given.
"You see all being everywhere are here TO Soon a huge mushroom of smoke enveloped
THRIVE." the crater.
"The president wishes to speak to you," When it cleared, there was no sign of the
said a brusque man in army fatigues and alien and his craft.
enough medallions to sink a ship. He Far above the chaos, another flying
threw a walkie-talkie at the alien's saucer, monitoring the scene, the real
feet. green giant decided to turn his image
"Hello, Mr. President. I have good news projector off . The hologram image on
for you. You see, the entire Universe is the surface of the earth disappeared.
on your side." While the entire country was suddenly
The President, surrounded by his entire celebrating their victory over beating
cabinet, experts on UFOs, and the back the invasion, apart from a small
top-ranked officers of the armed forces, group of malcontents that actually felt
barked: "Why are you here?" sorry for the alien, the jolly green
As the two spoke, the agitation around giant said to his wife, "I don't think
the president increased. This was they're ready yet."
obviously a breach of national security. Pushing the joystick with a sigh, she
And it was getting worse by the minute. pointed the craft out of the earth's
Unknown to them all, the green giant had orbit at warp speed.
a special vibration-meter on his wrist




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