| What could be better than flowers and a | | | | For my wife though, who loves the |
| brunch in your honor on Mother's Day? | | | | outdoors, almost anything we can do that |
| Children and spouses have been doing it | | | | involves hills, muddy shoes, and the |
| for many decades. Sending the flowers, | | | | complaints of small children asking "how |
| calling long distance (the biggest day | | | | much further?" is fine for her. No extra |
| for phone calls of the year) and booking | | | | expense, no flowers, just a bit of |
| over-priced brunches to celebrate mom or | | | | dedicated time sharing the outdoors with |
| spouse for all she does. And yet, | | | | the family. We'll head to Crissy Field |
| somehow it always rings a bit hollow, | | | | and fly kites, or into the Marin |
| like we're pre-programmed to do one or | | | | Headlands to walk along the cliffs, or |
| all three things on cue. We're like | | | | into Golden Gate Park to walk the |
| Pavlovian dogs hearing the "incoming | | | | Labyrinth. There are hundreds of places |
| message" bell to prod our actions. In an | | | | to go that will entertain the kids while |
| over-stressed, over-scheduled world, | | | | satisfying her need to get some time |
| Mother's Day has become a "to-do list" | | | | outdoors. |
| holiday. We order the flowers, pick up | | | | We're not afraid to break out of the |
| mom, eat, thank, kiss, drive home, and | | | | conventions of the traditional Mother's |
| check it off the list. | | | | Day. On the plus side, that means that |
| But it doesn't have to be that way. I'm | | | | not getting a reservation doesn't mean I |
| lucky enough to share my house and kids | | | | don't treasure her as a mom or partner. |
| with a woman who speaks her mind. She's | | | | Not buying flowers doesn't mean I forgot |
| never content with the status quo. She | | | | the simplest of symbols. I can literally |
| lets me know that a $9.99 bouquet of | | | | wait until right up to Mother's Day |
| Roses from the Safeway doesn't actually | | | | morning when we are setting the tray of |
| say much more than, "Yes, I was at the | | | | burnt toast and orange juice in front of |
| grocery store and thought of you while | | | | her in bed to give her what she wants |
| in the produce section." It's not that | | | | most, a little time with the family |
| she's ungrateful for little thoughts | | | | doing something she particularly loves. |
| like that; she doesn't even treat mom's | | | | My advice on Mom's day: forget the card |
| day that seriously, but like most women, | | | | and the lines at restaurants. Do |
| she knows when she's being put on. | | | | everything from scratch this year. Have |
| So, like many modern families, we spend | | | | the kids make their own cards and make |
| more prep time for Hallmark holidays | | | | breakfast at home, followed by something |
| thinking about what the honoree really | | | | mom likes to do, whether it's a museum, |
| would enjoy rather than what we are told | | | | flower show, ball game, or afternoon at |
| we should do. In some cases, this is a | | | | home in front of an old movie. |
| brunch in a fancy hotel at the top of | | | | And that goes for Dad's day as well. But |
| California Street where we can fritter | | | | remember, mom, if you're thinking of |
| away our children's education fund in an | | | | golf, you need to know one thing: |
| over-eating frenzy accompanied to the | | | | Mother's Day is the best day in the year |
| sound of a harp. My mom likes that, but | | | | to get any tee time you want, but just |
| she doesn't get to San Francisco that | | | | try to schedule a golf outing on |
| often. | | | | Father's Day. |