| What could be better than flowers and a | | | | For my wife though, who loves the outdoors, |
| brunch in your honor on Mother's Day? | | | | almost anything we can do that involves |
| | | | hills, muddy shoes, and the complaints of |
| Children and spouses have been doing it for | | | | small children asking "how much further?" is |
| many decades. Sending the flowers, calling | | | | fine for her. No extra expense, no flowers, |
| long distance (the biggest day for phone | | | | just a bit of dedicated time sharing the |
| calls of the year) and booking over-priced | | | | outdoors with the family. We'll head to |
| brunches to celebrate mom or spouse for all | | | | Crissy Field and fly kites, or into the Marin |
| she does. And yet, somehow it always rings a | | | | Headlands to walk along the cliffs, or into |
| bit hollow, like we're pre-programmed to do | | | | Golden Gate Park to walk the Labyrinth. There |
| one or all three things on cue. We're like | | | | are hundreds of places to go that will |
| Pavlovian dogs hearing the "incoming message" | | | | entertain the kids while satisfying her need |
| bell to prod our actions. In an | | | | to get some time outdoors. |
| over-stressed, over-scheduled world, Mother's | | | | |
| Day has become a "to-do list" holiday. We | | | | We're not afraid to break out of the |
| order the flowers, pick up mom, eat, thank, | | | | conventions of the traditional Mother's Day. |
| kiss, drive home, and check it off the list. | | | | On the plus side, that means that not getting |
| | | | a reservation doesn't mean I don't treasure |
| But it doesn't have to be that way. I'm lucky | | | | her as a mom or partner. Not buying flowers |
| enough to share my house and kids with a | | | | doesn't mean I forgot the simplest of |
| woman who speaks her mind. She's never | | | | symbols. I can literally wait until right up |
| content with the status quo. She lets me know | | | | to Mother's Day morning when we are setting |
| that a $9.99 bouquet of Roses from the | | | | the tray of burnt toast and orange juice in |
| Safeway doesn't actually say much more than, | | | | front of her in bed to give her what she |
| "Yes, I was at the grocery store and thought | | | | wants most, a little time with the family |
| of you while in the produce section." It's | | | | doing something she particularly loves. |
| not that she's ungrateful for little thoughts | | | | |
| like that; she doesn't even treat mom's day | | | | My advice on Mom's day: forget the card and |
| that seriously, but like most women, she | | | | the lines at restaurants. Do everything from |
| knows when she's being put on. | | | | scratch this year. Have the kids make their |
| | | | own cards and make breakfast at home, |
| So, like many modern families, we spend more | | | | followed by something mom likes to do, |
| prep time for Hallmark holidays thinking | | | | whether it's a museum, flower show, ball |
| about what the honoree really would enjoy | | | | game, or afternoon at home in front of an old |
| rather than what we are told we should do. In | | | | movie. |
| some cases, this is a brunch in a fancy hotel | | | | |
| at the top of California Street where we can | | | | And that goes for Dad's day as well. But |
| fritter away our children's education fund in | | | | remember, mom, if you're thinking of golf, |
| an over-eating frenzy accompanied to the | | | | you need to know one thing: Mother's Day is |
| sound of a harp. My mom likes that, but she | | | | the best day in the year to get any tee time |
| doesn't get to San Francisco that often. | | | | you want, but just try to schedule a golf |
| | | | outing on Father's Day. |