No Reservations About Mother's Day

What could be better than flowers and a brunchFor my wife though, who loves the outdoors,
in your honor on Mother's Day?almost anything we can do that involves hills,
Children and spouses have been doing it for manymuddy shoes, and the complaints of small children
decades. Sending the flowers, calling long distanceasking "how much further?" is fine for her. No
(the biggest day for phone calls of the year) andextra expense, no flowers, just a bit of dedicated
booking over-priced brunches to celebrate momtime sharing the outdoors with the family. We'll
or spouse for all she does. And yet, somehow ithead to Crissy Field and fly kites, or into the Marin
always rings a bit hollow, like we'reHeadlands to walk along the cliffs, or into Golden
pre-programmed to do one or all three things onGate Park to walk the Labyrinth. There are
cue. We're like Pavlovian dogs hearing thehundreds of places to go that will entertain the
"incoming message" bell to prod our actions. In ankids while satisfying her need to get some time
over-stressed, over-scheduled world, Mother'soutdoors.
Day has become a "to-do list" holiday. We orderWe're not afraid to break out of the conventions
the flowers, pick up mom, eat, thank, kiss, driveof the traditional Mother's Day. On the plus side,
home, and check it off the list.that means that not getting a reservation doesn't
But it doesn't have to be that way. I'm luckymean I don't treasure her as a mom or partner.
enough to share my house and kids with aNot buying flowers doesn't mean I forgot the
woman who speaks her mind. She's neversimplest of symbols. I can literally wait until right
content with the status quo. She lets me knowup to Mother's Day morning when we are setting
that a $9.99 bouquet of Roses from thethe tray of burnt toast and orange juice in front
Safeway doesn't actually say much more than,of her in bed to give her what she wants most, a
"Yes, I was at the grocery store and thought oflittle time with the family doing something she
you while in the produce section." It's not thatparticularly loves.
she's ungrateful for little thoughts like that; sheMy advice on Mom's day: forget the card and the
doesn't even treat mom's day that seriously, butlines at restaurants. Do everything from scratch
like most women, she knows when she's beingthis year. Have the kids make their own cards
put on.and make breakfast at home, followed by
So, like many modern families, we spend moresomething mom likes to do, whether it's a
prep time for Hallmark holidays thinking aboutmuseum, flower show, ball game, or afternoon at
what the honoree really would enjoy rather thanhome in front of an old movie.
what we are told we should do. In some cases,And that goes for Dad's day as well. But
this is a brunch in a fancy hotel at the top ofremember, mom, if you're thinking of golf, you
California Street where we can fritter away ourneed to know one thing: Mother's Day is the best
children's education fund in an over-eating frenzyday in the year to get any tee time you want,
accompanied to the sound of a harp. My mombut just try to schedule a golf outing on Father's
likes that, but she doesn't get to San FranciscoDay.
that often.