| Like all other areas of life the comedians | | | | toothbrushes, dirt from the US civil War, a |
| and jokers have invaded and put their mark on | | | | UFO Finder, a Russian sub (a real one!) and |
| this incredible new phenomenon that is eBay. | | | | Absolutely Nothing were on sale. Here's what |
| | | | the seller said about the latter: |
| Recently I wrote an article entitled, " | | | | |
| Future Internet: Collaboration without loss | | | | "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for sale, zero, zilch, |
| of individuality: Example 1: Ebay". Since | | | | nada. NO RESERVE on this vastly under |
| then it has come to my attention that like | | | | appreciated commodity. Why suffer the |
| all other areas of life the comedians and | | | | disappointment of shelling out big bucks on |
| jokers have invaded and put their mark on | | | | junk you don't want, can't afford, and don't |
| this incredible new phenomenon. I am by no | | | | need, when, for a small fee, you can |
| means against humour as I am a firm believer | | | | completely bypass the disappointment! You |
| in the idea that laughter is the greatest | | | | expect nothing, and that's precisely what you |
| medicine of all. If humanity just learned to | | | | will get. I'm hoping I can build up a regular |
| laugh at ourselves a little bit more instead | | | | clientele for absolutely nothing, because |
| of taking everything in life so seriously, I | | | | finding nothing is much easier to acquire |
| think we could achieve both individual and | | | | than most of the other items I sell. And |
| social harmony much more quickly. There are | | | | shipping costs are minimal, because, well, |
| several websites on the Internet already | | | | nothing weighs nothing. And it's very cheap |
| dedicated to weird things that have been | | | | for me to buy, as it costs me nothing. So |
| offered and even bought on A few that I've | | | | forget about those Beamers, those houses in |
| seen are found at: and | | | | the suburbs, those electronic gadgets, those |
| | | | fashionable clothes that are outdated before |
| Certain eccentric as well as just plainly | | | | you leave the store; THEY won't bring you |
| silly people have tried to sell anything from | | | | happiness, NOTHING will! The ancient Chinese |
| their own virginity (had to be a hoax) to the | | | | Sage advised us that less is more. Therefore, |
| now infamous 'ghost in a jar'. The 'ghost in | | | | NOTHING is most. Here is your chance to |
| a jar' sale was so popular that a whole slew | | | | FINALLY get exactly what you've always |
| of copycats have followed suit ranging from | | | | deserved! Bid with confidence, because I |
| 'ghost droppings' to a 'ghost in a bra'. The | | | | guarantee NOTHING! Aren't you weary of |
| 'What the heck' site seems to have the most | | | | everyone whining that they can't find NOTHING |
| comprehensive list with items being | | | | to buy? Well, here it is, ladies and |
| categorised into: Fan favourites, People, | | | | gentlemen, step right up and mail me your |
| Body parts and fluids, Animal Kingdom, | | | | dollars, I have an unlimited supply of what |
| Metaphysical Stuff, Face it you're addicted | | | | you really need most in your life, but were |
| to Ebay, Technology and accessories, Health | | | | never quite sure how to acquire it. You could |
| and Beauty, Dirt, Water etc, Just plain evil, | | | | pay hundreds, thousands, even tens of |
| Gross, Weird inventions, and Stuff we've yet | | | | thousands of dollars for the same thing from |
| to categorise. One of my favourites is for | | | | any one of a hundred political organizations, |
| the sale of Snow. Here's what the seller had | | | | religious groups, or federally mandated |
| to say about the product: | | | | taxing organizations, and not get one single |
| | | | thing that I'm not providing for a nominal |
| "So far, we've got over a foot, and it's | | | | fee of a $1.00 bid. And don't despair if you |
| still coming down. We really don't need more | | | | get sniped out at the last minute this week, |
| than a few inches here, so we're making the | | | | I'll have a fresh supply available next week |
| rest available to the highest bidder. Due to | | | | as well. Item is guaranteed to be exactly as |
| the perishable nature of snow, and because | | | | described. California residents please add |
| not even 4WD vehicles are having much luck on | | | | 8.25% sales tax." |
| our local roads, the winning bidder must make | | | | |
| arrangements for pickup. This snow doesn't | | | | So, with every great step forward for |
| pack very well, so you'll have to make your | | | | humanity we have our tricksters helping us |
| own packing arrangements as well. Note that | | | | along with their great powers of humour. With |
| I'm only offering the excess snow from our | | | | Ebay a new way of collaborative consumerism |
| own property. If you need it, I may be able | | | | has entered the so-called 'first world' |
| to arrange for you to get more. I'll accept | | | | psyche. The question is: Where do we draw the |
| cash or money order for payment. If you clear | | | | line between supply and demand for what we |
| a path from Interstate 40 to my house, I'll | | | | need to have a sustainable existence, and |
| discount your winning bid, charging only an | | | | buying for the sake of addiction to shopping? |
| amount equivalent to the Ebay fee for the | | | | I recently heard of a new term coined |
| closing bid. Take our snow, please..." | | | | Affluenza. It is the disease of always |
| | | | wanting more money and material objects even |
| I also laughed when I saw that drug-free | | | | if it means having a lesser quality of life. |
| urine, raccoon's penis bones, the Internet | | | | Hey, someone has even sold the 'Meaning of |
| (someone bid 1 billion dollars-it's real | | | | life' on Ebay for a mere $3.26! |
| worth would be priceless), nine used | | | | |