| Like all other areas of life the comedians and | | | | War, a UFO Finder, a Russian sub (a real one!) and |
| jokers have invaded and put their mark on this | | | | Absolutely Nothing were on sale. Here's what the |
| incredible new phenomenon that is eBay. | | | | seller said about the latter: |
| Recently I wrote an article entitled, " Future | | | | "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for sale, zero, zilch, |
| Internet: Collaboration without loss of individuality: | | | | nada. NO RESERVE on this vastly under |
| Example 1: Ebay". Since then it has come to my | | | | appreciated commodity. Why suffer the |
| attention that like all other areas of life the | | | | disappointment of shelling out big bucks on junk |
| comedians and jokers have invaded and put their | | | | you don't want, can't afford, and don't need, |
| mark on this incredible new phenomenon. I am by | | | | when, for a small fee, you can completely bypass |
| no means against humour as I am a firm believer | | | | the disappointment! You expect nothing, and that's |
| in the idea that laughter is the greatest medicine | | | | precisely what you will get. I'm hoping I can build |
| of all. If humanity just learned to laugh at | | | | up a regular clientele for absolutely nothing, |
| ourselves a little bit more instead of taking | | | | because finding nothing is much easier to acquire |
| everything in life so seriously, I think we could | | | | than most of the other items I sell. And shipping |
| achieve both individual and social harmony much | | | | costs are minimal, because, well, nothing weighs |
| more quickly. There are several websites on the | | | | nothing. And it's very cheap for me to buy, as it |
| Internet already dedicated to weird things that | | | | costs me nothing. So forget about those |
| have been offered and even bought on A few | | | | Beamers, those houses in the suburbs, those |
| that I've seen are found at: and | | | | electronic gadgets, those fashionable clothes that |
| Certain eccentric as well as just plainly silly people | | | | are outdated before you leave the store; THEY |
| have tried to sell anything from their own virginity | | | | won't bring you happiness, NOTHING will! The |
| (had to be a hoax) to the now infamous 'ghost in | | | | ancient Chinese Sage advised us that less is more. |
| a jar'. The 'ghost in a jar' sale was so popular that | | | | Therefore, NOTHING is most. Here is your chance |
| a whole slew of copycats have followed suit | | | | to FINALLY get exactly what you've always |
| ranging from 'ghost droppings' to a 'ghost in a bra'. | | | | deserved! Bid with confidence, because I |
| The 'What the heck' site seems to have the | | | | guarantee NOTHING! Aren't you weary of |
| most comprehensive list with items being | | | | everyone whining that they can't find NOTHING |
| categorised into: Fan favourites, People, Body | | | | to buy? Well, here it is, ladies and gentlemen, step |
| parts and fluids, Animal Kingdom, Metaphysical | | | | right up and mail me your dollars, I have an |
| Stuff, Face it you're addicted to Ebay, Technology | | | | unlimited supply of what you really need most in |
| and accessories, Health and Beauty, Dirt, Water | | | | your life, but were never quite sure how to |
| etc, Just plain evil, Gross, Weird inventions, and | | | | acquire it. You could pay hundreds, thousands, |
| Stuff we've yet to categorise. One of my | | | | even tens of thousands of dollars for the same |
| favourites is for the sale of Snow. Here's what | | | | thing from any one of a hundred political |
| the seller had to say about the product: | | | | organizations, religious groups, or federally |
| "So far, we've got over a foot, and it's still coming | | | | mandated taxing organizations, and not get one |
| down. We really don't need more than a few | | | | single thing that I'm not providing for a nominal |
| inches here, so we're making the rest available to | | | | fee of a $1.00 bid. And don't despair if you get |
| the highest bidder. Due to the perishable nature of | | | | sniped out at the last minute this week, I'll have a |
| snow, and because not even 4WD vehicles are | | | | fresh supply available next week as well. Item is |
| having much luck on our local roads, the winning | | | | guaranteed to be exactly as described. California |
| bidder must make arrangements for pickup. This | | | | residents please add 8.25% sales tax." |
| snow doesn't pack very well, so you'll have to | | | | So, with every great step forward for humanity |
| make your own packing arrangements as well. | | | | we have our tricksters helping us along with their |
| Note that I'm only offering the excess snow | | | | great powers of humour. With Ebay a new way |
| from our own property. If you need it, I may be | | | | of collaborative consumerism has entered the |
| able to arrange for you to get more. I'll accept | | | | so-called 'first world' psyche. The question is: |
| cash or money order for payment. If you clear a | | | | Where do we draw the line between supply and |
| path from Interstate 40 to my house, I'll discount | | | | demand for what we need to have a sustainable |
| your winning bid, charging only an amount | | | | existence, and buying for the sake of addiction to |
| equivalent to the Ebay fee for the closing bid. | | | | shopping? I recently heard of a new term coined |
| Take our snow, please..." | | | | Affluenza. It is the disease of always wanting |
| I also laughed when I saw that drug-free urine, | | | | more money and material objects even if it |
| raccoon's penis bones, the Internet (someone bid | | | | means having a lesser quality of life. Hey, |
| 1 billion dollars-it's real worth would be priceless), | | | | someone has even sold the 'Meaning of life' on |
| nine used toothbrushes, dirt from the US civil | | | | Ebay for a mere $3.26! |