| Food envy [food en-vee]: a feeling of discontent | | | | Now as an adult choosing from a menu is a long |
| with regard to the advantages of another's | | | | and troublesome process. What if the portion isn't |
| nourishing substance. | | | | very big? If I order the ribs will they be feeble |
| This is for everyone who has suffered in silence, | | | | and mean. Will I wish I'd ordered a burger? What |
| caught in the wraps of food envy. Plate pickers | | | | if someone orders steak and it's melt in the |
| and sausage stealers need not apply. Stealing | | | | mouth good? What if I order steak and it's |
| from other's plates is wrong and strangers don't | | | | chewy? |
| like it. I don't do it and I don't like it if it's done to | | | | Don't worry fellow reader for I am about to |
| me. | | | | share my fool-proof ways which will help you |
| I make an exception for my girlfriend. This is an | | | | combat food envy. With these tips go forth, safe |
| expected part of a relationship. What ever I have, | | | | in the knowledge that you'll no longer gaze at |
| even if she declares she doesn't want any, she | | | | another's choice of food and cry inside "why didn't |
| lies. I combat this by having an extra large portion. | | | | I order that?!" |
| Everyone's happy. | | | | 5 pro tips to help you combat food envy: |
| Food envy can start at an early age. Your mum | | | | - Order the same as the people you're with |
| lets you choose some penny sweets from | | | | - A tapas selection or Dim Sum is good. You get |
| Woolworth's Pick N' Mix. You take your time | | | | to try everything and never feel like you're |
| making your choices. You wont be falling for the | | | | missing out. Insist on a revolving table center for |
| heavy sweets this time, thank you. After a minor | | | | easy access to the last lonely dumpling. |
| telling off for sticking your grubby hands in the | | | | - Do your homework. This may involve viewing |
| plastic containers and fondling the sweets, | | | | the restaurant menu online, prior to your visit. |
| everything's rosy. | | | | This will help you make an educated decision |
| It's only when tucking in that you see your friend | | | | - Keep a notebook of the food which looked best |
| chose flying saucers and you didn't even spot | | | | at a restaurant, as ordered by a friend, relation, |
| them. You were happy with what you had, until | | | | Jo public. Keep this notebook within easy reach at |
| you saw their flying saucers. Now you remember | | | | all times |
| the way they dissolve in the mouth, and the way | | | | - If having a home cooked meal make sure you |
| the sugar fizzes on the tongue. You want them. | | | | plate up. This ensures you have equal portions and |
| You need them. Pulling their hair and and stropping | | | | assists in combating portion size envy. This can |
| doesn't seem to help. Food envy. | | | | also be referred to as food envy's brother, Greed |
| In your teenage years you decide to "hit the hut" | | | | For the times when your detailed analysis of the |
| - Pizza Hut - and order the Super Supreme, | | | | menu pays off and you order the best looking |
| thinking you've got your bases covered. Surely | | | | and tasting food in the whole restaurant, be |
| that's got everything on it? A friend gets the | | | | pleased. Ask a friend to take a photo, food in |
| Super Supreme with cheesy stuffed crust. Food | | | | frame, thumbs up. Keep the photo it in your |
| Envy. You order that next time. Clever! A friend | | | | wallet and refer to it when food envy is in full |
| gets the same topping, but with cheesy bites. | | | | swing. |
| Food envy! | | | | |