| The Nebraska town where a satirical | | | | as a witness. "I was driving home one |
| movie ridiculing aliens was filmed has | | | | night after getting high with my buddies |
| been troubled recently by a number of | | | | when my car just died. No nothing, |
| mysterious missing persons cases. | | | | right, so I get out to check under the |
| Police have been unable to explain the | | | | hood but it's dark outside. Suddenly I |
| disappearances of seven people over the | | | | see a light from the sky and I'm like |
| last three days since release of the | | | | whoa I can see now. Thanks dude. I was |
| movie, "Be Mean to a Green Alien if You | | | | able to fix my car, drive home and have |
| See One Because They're Really Stupid on | | | | a peanut butter sandwich before curfew." |
| Top of Being Ugly" hit theaters. | | | | Postal worker David Seasons was last |
| The film, bolstered by Internet talk, | | | | seen in the area where Hanks' car broke |
| grossed $183 million during its first | | | | down that night. Relatives say he was |
| three days of screenings and has brought | | | | wearing a T-shirt badmouthing aliens the |
| millions of dollars in revenue to | | | | night he went missing. |
| Valentine, Nebraska thanks to a clever | | | | "Just leave us alone. He didn't mean you |
| marketing campaign by the film's | | | | any harm," a teary Rosa Seasons, David's |
| creators. | | | | sister, pleaded. "Please give me my |
| In the picture the lead character | | | | brother back. Probe him if you want but |
| becomes so obsessed with the thought of | | | | leave him in one piece. Oh, if you can |
| intelligent life on other planets that | | | | get rid of that mole on his face go |
| he wages a jealous and bitter campaign | | | | ahead, but give him back to us soon. |
| degrading and demoralizing space aliens | | | | I've had it up to here looking after his |
| as half-wits and numbskulls. | | | | cat." |
| To help generate buzz, the film's makers | | | | What happened to Seasons and the six |
| granted Valentine officials the sole | | | | other missing people remains a mystery |
| license to design T-shirts insulting | | | | but UFO experts agree bizarre lights in |
| aliens that are similar to the T-shirts | | | | the sky and sudden unexplained |
| the actor wears throughout the comedy. | | | | disappearances in a town now infamous |
| Valentine's mayor, however, isn't amused | | | | for mocking aliens through government |
| at the deal his political rivals cut | | | | authorized T-shirts are no mere |
| with film makers. "I find this type of | | | | coincidence. |
| behavior reprehensible," an irate mayor | | | | "This film and this town are tipping the |
| Ben Swindling said. "This so called work | | | | balance of power in the galaxy," UFO for |
| of cinema is really a piece of garbage | | | | Life expert Hubert Davies said. "This is |
| that fuels hatred and this town has no | | | | not a good thing for earthlings. These |
| room whatsoever for hate. We are | | | | creatures obviously have feelings and |
| hate-free. And you know what, I really | | | | emotions just like we do. My guess is |
| hate when this shit happens during an | | | | they are exacting revenge for a film |
| election year." | | | | that has been grossly successful at |
| Officials with knowledge of the seven | | | | their expense. It's either that or |
| cases say they closely resemble one | | | | Valentine carries the only brand of |
| another. In each instance the victim was | | | | T-shirt these aliens want and can't find |
| either wearing a T-shirt insulting | | | | anywhere else in the universe." |
| aliens or was last seen near a movie | | | | While officials continue to investigate |
| theater. Eyewitness accounts have placed | | | | the cases, interest in Valentine has |
| a single bright object or light in the | | | | reached all-time highs. The town has |
| sky following each of the disappearances | | | | made national news and several other |
| sparking rumors of invaders from space | | | | film makers have expressed excitement in |
| and alien abductions. | | | | Valentine as a potential shooting |
| "This is really weird," said 17-year-old | | | | location. |
| Tyler Hanks, who police have questioned | | | | |