| The Nebraska town where a satirical movie
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| | Tyler Hanks, who police have questioned
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| ridiculing aliens was filmed has been
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| | as a witness. "I was driving home one
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| troubled recently by a number of
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| | night after getting high with my buddies
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| mysterious missing persons cases.
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| | when my car just died. No nothing, right,
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| Police have been unable to explain the
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| | so I get out to check under the hood but
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| disappearances of seven people over the
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| | it's dark outside. Suddenly I see a light
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| last three days since release of the
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| | from the sky and I'm like whoa I can see
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| movie, "Be Mean to a Green Alien if You
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| | now. Thanks dude. I was able to fix my
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| See One Because They're Really Stupid on
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| | car, drive home and have a peanut butter
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| Top of Being Ugly" hit theaters.
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| | sandwich before curfew."
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| The film, bolstered by Internet talk,
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| | Postal worker David Seasons was last seen
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| grossed $183 million during its first
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| | in the area where Hanks' car broke down
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| three days of screenings and has brought
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| | that night. Relatives say he was wearing
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| millions of dollars in revenue to
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| | a T-shirt badmouthing aliens the night he
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| Valentine, Nebraska thanks to a clever
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| | went missing.
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| marketing campaign by the film's
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| | "Just leave us alone. He didn't mean you
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| creators.
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| | any harm," a teary Rosa Seasons, David's
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| In the picture the lead character becomes
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| | sister, pleaded. "Please give me my
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| so obsessed with the thought of
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| | brother back. Probe him if you want but
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| intelligent life on other planets that he
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| | leave him in one piece. Oh, if you can
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| wages a jealous and bitter campaign
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| | get rid of that mole on his face go
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| degrading and demoralizing space aliens
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| | ahead, but give him back to us soon. I've
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| as half-wits and numbskulls.
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| | had it up to here looking after his cat."
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| To help generate buzz, the film's makers
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| | What happened to Seasons and the six
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| granted Valentine officials the sole
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| | other missing people remains a mystery
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| license to design T-shirts insulting
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| | but UFO experts agree bizarre lights in
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| aliens that are similar to the T-shirts
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| | the sky and sudden unexplained
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| the actor wears throughout the comedy.
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| | disappearances in a town now infamous for
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| Valentine's mayor, however, isn't amused
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| | mocking aliens through government
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| at the deal his political rivals cut with
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| | authorized T-shirts are no mere
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| film makers. "I find this type of
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| | coincidence.
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| behavior reprehensible," an irate mayor
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| | "This film and this town are tipping the
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| Ben Swindling said. "This so called work
| |
| | balance of power in the galaxy," UFO for
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| of cinema is really a piece of garbage
| |
| | Life expert Hubert Davies said. "This is
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| that fuels hatred and this town has no
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| | not a good thing for earthlings. These
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| room whatsoever for hate. We are
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| | creatures obviously have feelings and
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| hate-free. And you know what, I really
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| | emotions just like we do. My guess is
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| hate when this shit happens during an
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| | they are exacting revenge for a film that
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| election year."
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| | has been grossly successful at their
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| Officials with knowledge of the seven
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| | expense. It's either that or Valentine
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| cases say they closely resemble one
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| | carries the only brand of T-shirt these
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| another. In each instance the victim was
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| | aliens want and can't find anywhere else
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| either wearing a T-shirt insulting aliens
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| | in the universe."
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| or was last seen near a movie theater.
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| | While officials continue to investigate
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| Eyewitness accounts have placed a single
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| | the cases, interest in Valentine has
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| bright object or light in the sky
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| | reached all-time highs. The town has made
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| following each of the disappearances
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| | national news and several other film
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| sparking rumors of invaders from space
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| | makers have expressed excitement in
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| and alien abductions.
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| | Valentine as a potential shooting
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| "This is really weird," said 17-year-old
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| | location.
|
